The Chores and Photo Ops : Living Off Grid : A Day at the Border Fort

My wife and I live off grid near the Mexican border in an Arizona home we call the Border Fort. Today was more or less a typical day here, filled with chores both before and after a trip to town (20 miles distant--not far enough, but it is what it is). Photo opportunities popped up along the way.

Quite a few folks have asked, "What's it like to live out there, eh? You know, the rattlesnakes and illegal border crossers and all that?"

Well, we can tell y'all one thing: My disabled Pam doesn't have to try climbing up and falling down stairs in any two story in-town townhouse apartment. That's a good thing.

Oh, you want details? Sure. Why not. Here's the sequence of events for September 29, 2011.

[Quick note for our Tam theTall TaleTeller readers: I may not get a new episode written tonight. Evening is upon us already. *insert excuse here*]

1. Chore: Half asleep, heading out to fire up the portable generator that provides power for the fans in her room, our two TV sets, and my computer. Pam asks if it's time to add oil. Not really, but too close to risk having it shut itself down while I'm gone to town. Life is tough enough for my wife already. So: Add oil.

But it's not that simple. It's a whole process. Remove side cover. Remove air cleaner cover. Clean and re-oil sponge air cleaner filter. Wipe air cleaner with paper towel to remove excess oil that tends to accumulate. Then add oil. Reassemble. Fire up the beast.

2. Chore: Feed cats.

3. Chore: Fire up the burner under the coffee pot. Pam does this herself at need but sometimes gets propane blowback and intimidates herself.

4. Chore: Forgot yesterday. Gato cat stands on his hind legs, sniffing and pawing at the tool drawer where I stashed the new batch of gecko-food crickets. Thanks, Gato. Begin cleaning Missy's gecko cage. Get interrupted by wife, who insists on burning trash today. I'd told her several times, we'll burn tomorrow.

5. Chore: Burn trash after cleaning barrel of leftovers from last week's burning. Never argue with wife, no way to win.

6. PHOTO OP: New morning glory vine on trail to ash-dump pit.

7. PHOTO OP: Watching the trash burn down far enough to cap the barrel for the day, hey, is that--I do believe it is! Long time no see, little horned lizard! Sing to lizard, take many pics. She (no clue as to sex, just decided it was a she) loves my singing voice telling her how pretty she is. Several times, she bobs her head at me, up-and-down, twice. Always two bobs. Plus the occasional long-tongue flick-out to snare an unwary ant as she moves along.

Awesome.

8. Chore, part two: Finish fixing up Missy's habitat and dump in her new batch of "manna from heaven" crickets.

9. Chore: Lug Pam's toilet bucket out to the back 40, replace it with fresh bucket. Rough morning, too nasty to leave in place for the day. So she says; I don't smell a thing. Not even myself, though she insists on working over the pits on both my bod and my shirt.

10. Chore: Put new 5 gallon jug of water upside down in one of the two ceramic crocks purchased at Wal-Mart in 2009. Chuck empty into car for refilling at Arizona Fuels.

11. Chore: Fix Pam something to eat: One can of Mary Kitchen corned beef hash, heated on a stoneware plate in the big frying pan--since the big generator is down and we have nothing functional with enough power to run the microwave. She downs most of it; I eat the leftovers. I'm gaining weight on her leftovers.

And...get out of the driveway while the getting is good!

Errand Stop #1: Arizona Fuels. Fill 5 gallon water jug from machine.

PHOTO OP: A black butterfly with white wing-dots. Wow, at the right angle, it shows blue and red wing-dots as well! Moves awfully fast, though. Perpetual motion. No matter, try to catch a picture or two anyway.

Errand Stop #2: Post Office. No mail.

Errand Stop #3: DMV, except Arizona now calls it MVD. I refuse; my motors do not have any known form of venereal disease. Get new license tags for the car and truck, never mind the fact the truck hasn't started in the last year. Needs a battery, a new ignition lock, and likely a new alternator. Will the aged fuel fire up? We'll find out when the time comes, when there's money to get the vehicle running again.

Errand Stop #4: Wal-Mart. A few groceries, but mainly printer ink for the computer printer. Good news: It's half the price it was a year ago. Soda has gone up some.

Errand Stop #5: Walgreen. No joy.

Errand Stop #6: Health food store. Spend small fortune for digestive enzymes Pam desperately needs.

Errand Stop #7: Carl's, for a Terriyaki Burger and a newspaper break, thanks to the gentleman who donated his Arizona Daily Star to me when he was done with it. Veteran's discount on the burger holds it to $5.02. I'm way too old, can still recall a complete McDonald's meal and change for a buck.

Errand Stop #8: Pizza Hut. Pam wants a personal pan with the works. I break and get one for myself to top off the burger. We've been pinching pennies pretty hard; I eat like a Holocaust survivor turned loose at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

And...homeward!

Evening chores are not so intense.

1. Chore: Take toilet buckets to outhouse pit, rinse, reset with a few inches of water in the bottoms, add Pine-Sol, and set them up for the night.

2. Chore: Add gas to the generator. It'll run 10 to 12 hours on a tankful. It's already been 9 1/2 hours.

3. Chore: Afternoon cat feeding. Our babies are definitely spoiled.

4. Chore: Check water level in storage tank. Still 480 gallons or so on tap.

5. Chore: Scoop cat litter boxes.

And...good for the evening. Time to sit down and write, just another day at the Border Fort. The rest is a piece of cake: Write as late as I dare run the generator considering budget considerations (fuel costs), then shut everything down. Take Pam her late-night meds by flashlight, do up the day's dishes using Dawn and cold water by flashlight, set up her meds for tomorrow by flashlight, ditto for fixing the coffee for morning, and...done.

Piece of cake.