Surviving Truck Driving Adventures of the Uh-Oh Kind : Elizabeth, New Jersey

At the crack of dawn after motoring on, I'd dropped a load of oxide from Montana

In the tight dock space, quite the snug little place in New Jersey with the big banana

Now the hardest part that required the most art, locating our company terminal

I was recently hired and quite easily fired, my time as a driver quite germinal

Dispatch said it was easy but my belly was queasy; seemed to me I'd missed a turn

Pulling a closed cargo van 53 feet long, man, tummy acid was starting to burn

This was not a highway but a busy city lane; I finally parked and hiked the street

Good thing, too; less than two blocks ahead was a Low Bridge: Clearance Ten Feet!

With a gulp and a gasp, I didn't dare relax as I hustled back to my rig

Elizabeth City would have taken no pity if I'd jammed traffic up at that bridge

So I hung a quick right, but then the next fright in that residential hood

Stopped me cold, man I felt old; there was no way my truck could

Make that second turn to the right without smashing one parked car

I was stuck in the middle of the intersection wishing I was at the bar

Okay, not really, 'cause I'd been sober for thirty-some years by then

But what to do? Man, I was screwed, jacking around that bend

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Several cars were lined behind, and happy they were not

It was only time till I got slimed and ticketed a lot

But then just when things looked the worst, a fellow helped me out

He'd been a fireman and a trucker, too, knew what it was about

Up and down the street he went, talking to just about everyone

Trying to find the owner of the car to get me out from under the gun

Finally, here she came, all full of blame, hot as hot could be

The car over which my trailer was looming was hurt, or so thought she

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No, I assured her I used my mirrors and also looked around

No way had I clobbered her tin can car, but she weren't giving no ground

Long story short, she slid inside and made her safe escape

Then I cleanly finished that right hand turn with nary a bump or scrape

Quite fortunately for little old me, the third turn was no prob

I got outa there, found our terminal and saved my freaking job

The moral of the story, folks, is that I still appreciate

That native of Elizabeth; New Jersey's one fine state

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But though good people helped me out, it could not be much clearer

I mostly love to see New Jersey back in my rear view mirror!