Smith And Wesson, Adsense, And Dogs: Three Things That Bark

Besides firearms, Google Adsense, and our canine friends, it looks like I need to add one more item to the list of things that bark: The HubPages computer! A few minutes ago, having just figured out the above title and appropriate category plus a few tags, it occurred to me that I needed to check on a couple of things including two other Hubs of mine. One of those had a Comment, and when I'm online, I try to respond as promptly as practical. So--and you readers who are also Hubbers may already be laughing, knowing what's coming--I closed this page, did my thing, came back, opened this page...and got a severe warning that this Hub was about to get flagged substandard! Rowf!! Woof!!! And even Gr-r-r-rr!!!!

I was puzzled (and alarmed; I admit it) until I read that the reason for the flagging was the Hub's extreme brevity...and then I was even more puzzled. Since it had yet to be written except for the title, it was just too amazingly short! First time anybody ever accused me of saying too little, tell you what! What I don't understand in the slightest is why that warning was issued when the Hub had yet to be published, but I guess if my disabled wife needs help for a few hours in the middle of one of my writing projects, hey, just leave the computer on and let the Hub "idle" until midnight.... Unless then the Hub would get flagged for loitering, or....

Okay. Funtime's over. Back to business.

The inspiration for the title came from a seventy-two year old neighbor who dropped by our campsite a few hours ago. Just to get acquainted, you know. We're fairly new on this homestead, other rural residents do tend toward a "Howdy, Neighbor!" way of thinking, and we had a great time conversing. I didn't even mind having to interrupt my writing (the Hub titled Earning Adsense Income As An Armored Knight). One thing Harvey mentioned was that he'd noticed we don't have a canine, only cats, but that--living right close to the border as we all do--the steady stream of illegal immigrants heading north on foot inspire a lot of locals to keep watch critters.

"They'll go out of their way to avoid you if they hear a dog," he assured us.

"They go out of their way to avoid us, anyway," I replied with a smile.

He grinned back in perfect understanding: "As long as you have something that barks." Referring, of course, to a loaded firearm. Google has plenty of ammunition its own self, seems to me. Yup: Smith and Wesson, Adsense, and....

It's not like my wife and I have not known any Barking Buddies during our lifetimes. It's just that our dog days were before we met. At one time she raised purebred Silver Blue Great Danes, while in my early adult years, the finest four legged friend I ever had was a purebred, pure white German Shepherd pup named Silver.

Now: Does Adsense bark? Depends on your perception, obviously, but to me it clearly does if you consider such a sound to be that familiar, short, sharp sound given either in friendly greeting or as a warning. Adsense income going up? Friendly greeting. Going down? Warning, telling the author to quit barking...up the wrong tree!

All right, so, if everything goes according to Hoyle, then Google's program might just be able to act as a dandy financial watchbeast, man's (or woman's) best friend, all of that. Bottom line, though, I want to see it sit up and speak like a Smith and Wesson, stopping those old threatening home invasion specialists. You know, the Debt family: Repo, Lector (Collector), Viction (Eviction), Ting (Credit Rating), the rest of that bunch. Or as these four are known to their loved ones (mostly banks and loan companies): Ree, Lek, Vic, and...well...still Ting. Adsense, have no mercy on those four; bark away! Oh, yeah, and take out that Fifth Horseman while you're at it, would you? You know, Forclosure (better known as Forkel, evil twin brother to Urkel).

There seems little doubt that Smith and Wesson, Adsense, and those animals of the noticeable bad breath truly are three things that sound off sharply. The only question that remains is whether or not we as writers can learn to correctly interpret those woofs and rowfs and occasional gr-r-r-rrs. The loud, joyful noise accompanying a tripling of monthly income is easy enough to accept, but what about the other side of the coin? It's one thing to realize that an arf is warning of dropping earnings but quite another to figure out the specific tweaks that will successfully reverse the trend. Is the apparent problem a mere dip in the road without so much as a pothole or the thundering rush of an oncoming financial tornado?

Fortunately for Pam and me, our housemates consist of three anti-woof kitty cats and one leopard gecko who've informed us they're not overly concerned. A fresh batch of live crickets now and then for Missy Gecko, a few cans of cat food for the felines, and they're good to go.

Which doesn't really help pick out those profitable keywords, but they do keep the mice down. The cats, not the keywords.

Thanks for reading,

Ghost32