Sarah Palin's Alaska, Episode #6 : Potpourri

It was like this week's episode (#6) of Sarah Palin's Alaska had a bucket list and just had to cram in every possible experience before the end. From white water rafting to camping to panning for gold to digging for fossils to a brief stint as a waittress to naming puppies and mushing a team of Iditarod-qualified sled dogs.

Whew!

Guess we better get started, then.

This has to be the shortest jaunt-to-adventure the Palins take--just 35 miles to a serious section of the Washutna River. Having never rafted before, they're all jacked up and ready to rock.

Hey, I've never rafted before, either. My ex and her boys did once, in Wyoming, when we were on vacation. They were all thrilled about it, too. Me, I took a nap in the RV, read a book, and tried not to yawn in their faces when they got back. Better them than me. Come to think of it, there's a reason I sympathize with Kate Gosselin's disinterest in camping-as-recreation. I'll do that sort of thing when it's needful for survival and do it well. But...fun? Not so much.

But I digress. And I will say this: Their river rafting guide, who goes by the name of Mudflap, is definitely the dude worth having on your side if you must go splashing your face with water that can kill you from the sheer cold of it if you fall overboard. He especially made his point about the need for all rafters to keep tight grips on the tee handles of their paddles.

"If you don't," he explained, "You'll hit your partners in the face with that thing; somebody will end up with summer teeth. We call them summer teeth because some're in the water, some're in the boat, and some're in your mouth."

They did have a blast, though. No one got any summer teeth, no one fell overboard--Sarah's Dad, Chuck Heath, has lost hunting partners who fell into Arctic waters and didn't make it, but no casualties this time out--and Todd had Trig waiting for them when they returned to shore some miles downstream from their entry point.

Todd, who as four time Iron Dog snowmobile champion has to qualify as one of the toughest men on the planet, had volunteered to play Mr. Mom instead of hitting the rapids.

Smart Todd.

 Nothing to see here, folks; just move along.  Camping is what it is.

Um...wait.  There was one thing about the camping segment that had me cracking up.  Piper Palin has a way with words, the ability to really express herself clearly.  You might want to see how it went with the first s'more she toasted on a stick.

In this segment, the Palins saddle up their ATVs and head for an old gold mining camp where their friend Bones lives. The old miner got his name by surviving a number of winters by the skin of his teeth, coming out in the spring without an ounce of flesh to spare. Once greetings have been exchanged and the gold pans located, it's time for Chuck (who is an expert at panning for gold) explains the technique.

And Piper learns how to be a gold panner (as opposed to gold digger, thank you).

Then it's a short hike to dig for fossils. They find some, too--this high country was apparently, at one time, a seabed.

Finally! Before Sarah and Willow meet up with four-time Iditarod Champion Martin Buser, however, Sarah takes a bit of free time in her teeth and dons an apron to show off her old waittressing skills at an Anchorage restaurant. That, and to let Piper get the feel of what it takes to truly serve one's fellow man.

Ever the ballon-puncturer, however, Piper quickly assesses her Mom's ability as incapable of earning tips. Mom talks with the customers too much.  Piper got a tip, though--gas money for the return trip, says Mom.

Then on to Martin's kennels, where the most famous man in Alaska has Piper pick out a puppy--no, not to keep, but to be named Piper!

Now that was pretty cool!

From Martin's place, they fly by helicopter to an ever-snowy location where a friend and competitor of Martin's maintains a year-round dog training camp. Turns out that if you intend to be more than a wannabe in the dogsled racing world, you don't do anything else with your life. Period.

Sarah gets to mush solo--and once again gets dissed by her daughter when Piper states,

"I think my Mom is a better car driver than a dog musher."

Hey, at least that's something.

 As the show closed, it became obvious that Gerry "Bones" Groff, old gold miner extraordinaire, has--since the Sarah Palin's Alaska episode #6 was filmed in part at his camp--moved on to the next gold strike. 

The photo speaks for itself.