Sarah Palin's Alaska, Episode #2 : But--But--HALIBUT!!

On this week's episode, Todd and Sarah Palin packed up the RV and, with the three Palin daughters plus grandson Tripp in tow, headed for Homer. Or as Sarah said it, "Homer--D'oh!" They wanted to get some family time going, a key portion of which involved putting Bristol plus Sarah plus Todd to work on a commercial halibut fishing boat.

It turns out that 60% of all seafood consumed in the United States comes from Alaska...and that Homer, Alaska, bills itself as the Halibut Fishing Capital of the World.

It also turns out that Sarah figured it would have to be a good thing, getting Bristol away from her day-to-day problems--you know, like being a single Mom whose son's father has been thoroughly jerk-proven and dimbulb-tested. Aw-w-w...sounds like a Mommy thing, all right, even if Sarah isn't sure she's quite ready for Tripp to mature enough to start calling her "Grandma!".

When Bristol learned what her specific task would be--bopping the flopping halibut on the head with a billy club as soon as they hit the deck--she didn't flinch. Much, anyway. After all, as she eventually admitted, bashing critters on the noggin was a great way to get out some of her pent-up aggression. Hm. Aggressive feelings pertaining to anybody we've heard about, ya think?

Side note: Clearly, an earlier trip to a shooting range hadn't quite done the trick when it came to releasing all that woman-fury. True, it took Bristol a while to actually hit a clay pigeon. It's probably hard to get much satisfaction out of missing shot after shot. She did slam one eventually, though, and that made her a pretty happy camper.

However, the expression on her face was definitely priceless when she first heard how you go about getting the blood out of those freshly stunned future fish dinners.

The day after catching the fish--Captain Pat's haul, with the Palins helping, came to 12,000 pounds of halibut worth more than $75,000 on the market--everyone gathered at the processing plant where whole fish go in but store-ready filets come out. In the end, rewarded for helping with a healthy armload of fresh fish meat, it was time to have a cookoff. Whose recipe would be judged the tastiest?

Todd's, as it turned out.

Nothing unusual in that, apparently. Todd and Sarah are lifelong competition addicts. From shooting to fishing to cooking to a simple little kayak alone-together time, they just can't help going for the gold.

And Todd, according to Sarah, usually wins.

Certainly it was both a surprise and a pleasure for her when they first pulled into Homer, were recognized by a number of native residents, and--and the locals wanted their pictures taken with Todd. See, Sarah Palin may well be President of the United States one day, but Todd is the Iron Dog, winner of the world's toughest snow machine race...four times.

No mere politician can compete with that.

Before the episode closed, the Palins had seen sea otters in action, watched a huge whale leap completely out of the water (I missed that screen shot, dang it!) and gone clamming. When it came to coming up with clams, young Piper proved herself and then some.

But more than anything, this episode was all about helping Bristol rebalance. It worked. It may have even had a bit to do with Bristol's subsequent decision to accept ABC's offer to compete on Dancing With the Stars. Where, to the fury of Liberals everywhere, she has confounded the experts by making it all the way to the Finals.

Ah, those Libs. They never listen, never learn how to read the writing on the wall, not even after the wall falls in on them and crushes their predictions to mush. How could Bristol not have proven herself to be a rugged competitor? Never mind politics. Her Mom was a State Champion basketball point guard. Her Dad is the Iron Dog. Of course she's awesome!

And so is Sarah Palin's Alaska, Episode #2.