Sarah Palin And Carlos Mencia

When Sarah Palin runs for President of the United States in 2012, she ought to pick comedian Carlos Mencia as her running mate.

Okay, so this page is tongue in cheek, but if you know Mencia's work, you're already rolling on the floor. In case you're not, I'll explain.

Carlos Mencia is a Mexican American comedian who is absolutely fearless and pulls absolutely no punches. He incorporates racial jokes in his routine on a regular basis, but not because he's against any given race. He's not. He simply sees deeply and clearly and has a way of pointing out what we all know--as well as what many of us may not--with style, timing, humor, and energy that leaves his audiences howling in approval.

Best of all, he cuts cowards no slack. If you're afraid to call "Achmed" a terrorist and afraid to get in the face of an abrasive man who's clearly from the Middle East in a public place, he's got a word for you that means "kitty". For example, he tells a true story about such a fellow who tried to intimidate him one day, saying,

"You should be afraid of us! We blew up two of your buildings!"

"We blew up two of your countries, b----!" Mencia rejoined.

He knows about the hierarchies in Asia and the hierarchies in Latin America. And he figures the only way we'll ever build a functional border fence is to use the illegal immigrants to build it before we kick them out, ask them to make sure it looks good on the other side, and then slam the doors behind them. Quoting the supposed builders, in accent, he exclaims,

"They trick us! They trick us! But it does look really good on this side, too...."

For the Democrats, facing a Palin/Mencia ticket would be like some unsuspecting bug facing a wolf spider. How so? Let me clarify....

Benefits Carlos Mencia would bring to the ticket:

1. The comedian is even "flashier" than Sarah Palin, although admittedly no one is trying to say he's had breast implants. Attacking liberals wouldn't want to, but they'd be drawn to go after Carlos, splitting their Palin-hating attention.

2. Opposition tacticians would have a dickens of a time assuming they could still count on the Hispanic vote.

3. No one would dare debate this guy. The only person I've ever met who could beat Mencia in a mouthfight is my wife, and Joe Biden is no Pam. Ol' Joe's white hair would flat fall out at the very thought of facing Carlos.

4. After Sarah Palin was elected and inaugurated, nobody would mess with America!! Because ferocious Dick Cheney is to Carlos Mencia as a gray tabby house cat is to a saber toothed tiger with a toothache! He'll kick your a-- and leave your enemies laughing!

5. He does truly love America. (No joke.)

All right, all right. Enough. I promise we'll get back to more serious prognisticating and stuff.

Tomorrow.