President Obama's Plan for America : Cups and Tea Bags

Jimmy Carter encouraged us to think small and aim lower. Now President Obama wants us to use cups and tea bags to restore America to its former greatness.

It wasn't until today's newspaper hit the stands that a huge government secret was revealed, right there in the comic strips for all to read...had we but eyes to see. Halfway down the page, an old favorite blew his cover, let it be known by his advice to his followers that he's been covertly advising the President of the United States of America all along. Facing a truly daunting task, one every bit as likely to end in total disaster as the federal deficit and out of control spending, he advises...cups and tea bags.

When those who depended upon this stalwart hero to lead them needed to know what to do if they found themselves in hot water, he offered encouragement: Cups and tea bags. As they faced a gigantic obstacle every bit as immovable as Obamacare, this hero smiled and told them: Cups and tea bags.

Who might this bold fellow be? Ah, you guessed it! The secret advisor to the man in the White House is, of course....HAGAR the HORRIBLE (Now known simply as Hagar, the word "Horrible" having become horribly politically incorrect.)

Mr. Obama, of course, makes at least some token effort to conceal his source. But to the discerning eye, the true meanings of the buzz words and phrases he uses are clear. For example:

1. Innovation is to job creation as cups and tea bags are to boiling water on your head.

2. $169 million cut from the Great Lakes Restoration Project is to the $1.5 trillion annual federal deficit as cups and tea bags are to boiling water on your head.

3. Waiver favoritism is to Obamacare as cups and tea bags are to boiling water on your head.

Now, we fully understand the Confounder in Chief will deny this. We the People, however, need to consider the source...and the source (Obama himself) has revealed his true brilliance with utterances like:

--"They (Supreme Court Justices) are charged with the vital task of applying principles put to paper more than twenty centuries ago."

--" I mean, I do think at a certain point you've made enough money. "

--"...Navy Corpse-man...."

--"The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries."

--"What I was suggesting -- you're absolutely right that John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith..."

Bottom line, it should come as no surprise that President Barack Hussein Obama and Viking raider Hagar the Horrible have hooked up to rook the world together. They do, after all, possess much in common. Both believe in redistributing pretty much everything...by force if necessary. Both style themselves the leaders of their respective raiding parties. Both men are married to formidable women, and both have two children plus one dog.

Hagar, of course, also has a duck.