National Geographic Channel : IRT, Deadliest Roads

Holy tough jobs in Sarah Palin's Alaska, Batman! Having just watched NGC (National Geographic Channel), the program titled IRT: Deadliest Roads, I'm almost wishing I could un-retire long enough to run up to Fairbanks, get me a heavy hauling job with Carlisle Trucking, make a bunch of Ice Road runs to the oilpatch at Prudhoe Bay and back...just to prove I could cut the mustard for a season or two.

Almost.

See, it's not like I've never tooled a big rig in tough country under adverse weather conditions. After all, my former employer in Colorado (Production Transport, also known as P.T.) still runs water tankers in the western slope gasfield where subzero winter temps, super-steep slopes, hairpin curves, and blizzard white-out conditions are anything but rarities. Those of us who can handle such conidtions are a proud breed, confident in our knowledge and skill sets as well as being aware few drivers--even career commercial drivers--ever truly make the grade.

We should be able to handle anything the trucking business can throw at us...right?

Ummm...not exactly. Dealing with rugged Garden Gulch Road and, above that, the wilderness-rich Roan Plateau...yeah, we can do that. In my case, did do that. But, based on what is shown in IRT: Deadliest Roads, the Roan Plateau is to Atigun Pass as bumper cars are to Nascar. Not the same ballpark, baby. Nope. Nuh-uh.

It's not that Colorado offroad drivers don't deal with each and every problem the Dalton Highway (Alaska) dudes and dudettes face. They do. It's simply that when you take your game to the Land of the Midnight Sun, the cold and ice and long, nasty, slippery grades are so much more relentless. There's a reason they call it the North Slope--namely, it's within spitting distance of Santa's workshop at the North Pole. For all but about three months out of the year it's co-old up there!

They also do "push-trucking". One of P.T.'s top drivers known as Hippee (he really is an old hippie) knows all about that technique. One harsh winter day, his was the middle truck in a three truck convoy, chained up all around and struggling to reach the top of a really ugly grade north of DeBeque, Colorado. When the rear rig spun out, Hippee stopped long enough to hook up a tow chain between his Kenworth and the Interhational that was stuck...and continued on, pulling the IHC as they both spun-churned upgrade.

But then Norm radioed back from #005, the truck in the photo--and at that time Norm's regularly assigned unit. Norm was spinning out, not quite stopped just yet, but--.

Hippee told him (over the radio), keep those wheels turning. Before long he'd come up on the bumper of Norm's trailer, never slowed, just contact, and then pushed. There was a road grader at the top. Its operator radioed the guys, asked if they needed a tow. Hippee fired back, told him to just stay out of the way...and powered all three trucks to the top as a single, connected unit!

That's push-and-pull trucking.

On the Dalton Highway, it's like that. Just a little different. A super-heavy lead rig will be losing it. Then two more units, carrying lighter loads, come up behind and push. During the program, a good looking lady trucker from Wasilla (yes, Sarah Palin's town) who needed to earn enough money to buy back her favorite horse...learned to push-truck. Which is tricky as to timing but, more than anything, a test of nerve--because the lead truck does the steering and you don't.

She learned it...and became accepted as one of Carlisle's top drivers by so doing. When the Ice Trucking season was over, she'd even made enough to buy her horse back.

There's a whole lot more to see in that one-hour program. Ray, the rookie from Montana who ends up hauling the highest number of loads for the season (18). Greg, a young dude with a 'tude (disliked him instantly) who pulled a bonehead stunt, then thought he'd get Ray fired for what happened--but found out from the boss that he (Greg) had only jeopardized his own job. Hugh "Polar Bear", a hard charger who figured speed limits were for losers and who won't likely be hired back by Carlisle another year. Jack, pulling 200,000 pounds of jet fuel over the same treacherous route. And Alex, falling behind on the load count a little...but only because he always stops to help others in need.

All in all, way too much material for a one-page hub...but worth your time to tune in and watch if you've ever wondered how they got all that drilling pipe to the oilpatch at Prudhoe Bay in the first place. These are the guys and gals doing the job, and...

...and I think maybe I'll just stay retired after all.