How I Found a Place to Live... 50 Times!
71A friend who mentioned the difficulty of long distance house hunting made me start thinking, "Hey, I wonder...." So, here's (just for the fun of it--I'm easily entertained) a list of my place-to-live hunting expeditions over the years....
1. College dorm, hey, no challenge on that one!
2. Garage converted to apartment, grabbed a local paper as soon as I hit town, found it in the classifieds.
3. Living out of my car on the rodeo circuit--that works!
4. Back home with the folks for a few months. Can you spell "sucks"?
5. Drafted by Uncle Sam's Army. Barracks! (Plus the occasional pup tent.)
6. College married housing. Again, no rocket science required!
7. Bought a house advertised in the paper; who needs that Phillips Petroleum stock, anyway?
----------------------Sold house at 20% loss. Real estate magnate!------------------
8. Upstairs apartment, classified ad, college dropout, big dog--tricky!
9. House in the paper, rented this time, my momma didn't raise no fool. Nasty property manager, though, actually wants me to cut down the weeds!
10. House in paper, little old landlord with diabetes lives in shack out back. Nice guy but losing one leg at a time.
11. Back to college, married housing, boo coo cockroaches.
12. More married housing.
13. Rental house in paper. Tough market, call at 7:00 a.m.; rent ahead of others at 7:17 a.m. Crazy cat lady next door, more than 60 cats, ringworm, shallow burials in alley. Smelly!
14. House in paper. Bought again! Unable to sell after divorce.
-----------------Gave the d*****d thing to my ex. Real estate magnate!--------------
15. Hi ho, back to apartment we go. Referral from same chick who referred me to wife #2.
16. Townhouse apartment, brand new, in paper.
17. Rental house, in paper grabbed from rack on delivery, quick call, pay landlord on sight at 6:48 p.m., three seconds ahead of irate competing couple. Multicolored carpet on floor stitched together from scraps, busted fridge.
18. Live-in houseparenting job, comes with bedroom and kitchen priveleges. Cool!
19. Garden level apartment, driving the neighborhood, sign on building For Rent. Loud party next door, first night.
20. Mobile home, stone's throw from apartment. Favorite hunting ground for Jehovah's Witness types.
21. Saltbox house in country, ad in paper, 7/8 acre, nasty black walnut tree.
-----------------------Sold at 23% loss. Real estate magnate!--------------------
22. Live-in houseparenting job #2, room and board, time to heal--sort of.
23. Mobile home on 10 acres, contract for deed, classified ad.
----------------------Abandoned back to seller. No comment!---------------------
24. Rental house, ground search asking people, people, and more people. Landlord convinced I meant to stiff him just 'cause check bounced.
25. Mobile home, classified ad, contract for deed.
---------------------Abandoned back to seller. No comment!----------------------
26. Mobile home, ground search, meet in bar to convince owner on lease option.
-----------------------Abandoned back to seller. No comment!------------------------
27. Small upstairs room in boarding house, classified ad, shared toilet at end of hall.
28. Move in with girlfriend, soon to be wife #4.
29. Classified ad in San Diego, tough town, apartment with cockroaches.
30. Scribbled ad on grocery bulletin board, share apartment with dude and hordes of roaches; get Chief Cockroach Killer assignment.
31. Move in with girlfriend, eventually to be wife #5.
32. Apartment, classifed ad.
33. Bought a house again! Classified ad, palm trees with rats.
-----------------------Sold at 2% profit. Coldwell Banker Beware!---------------------
34. House plus 45 acres, real estate agent, angry intrusive neighbors.
---------------------"Donated" to wife in divorce. Bargain!-----------------------------
35. House plus 160 acres, real estate agent, love of my life (place, not person), evil entities no problem
--------------------------Sold at 18% loss. Real estate magnate!--------------------------
36. House in town, real estate agent.
----------------Sold at Break Even. Wow! Look out, Donald Trump!----------------
37. White elephant, upscale neighborhood, talked desperate seller into contract for deed, got cash back in pocket at closing, $325,000 house, no credit check, copperhead snake in driveway.
----------------------------Abandoned back to seller. No comment!---------------------
38. Apartment again, sign on courtyard driveway. Meet #7, permanent wife, in laundromat.
39. Apartment, classified ad.
40. Rental house, classified ad.
41. Utilities plus land, no house, notice on convenience store bulletin board. Add used (very used) mobile home, rent to own, classified ad. Ground seepage cow poo in water supply.
42. Tent, classified ad, mean rooster, landlord rinses colostomy bag in Fish Creek.
43. Twenty acres bare land, classified ad, pitch tent, build shed-cabin, big rattlesnakes.
-------------------Abandoned back to seller. %&^##!!$!!!-------------------------------
44. Motel room, ground search.
45. Rental house, classified ad, stopped-up sewer.
46. Bought house again, classified ad, ghost of suicide in residence.
-------------------Sold at 37% loss. Real estate SUPER-magnate!----------------------
47. Country rental house, Internet search.
48. Work apartment, ground search.
49. Bought,yeah, one more house. Real estate agent, crooked stop sign on corner.
----------Abandoned to Foreclosure. Real estate...ah, forget it----------------------
50. Bare land, four acres, classified ad. Added camp trailer, then storage shed, then built house with own two hands.
Rattlesnakes? Illegal immigrants packing heat? Dirty local politics?
Yeah. So what?
I AIN'T MOVING AGAIN!
CommentsLoading...
Half a century of moving and no animals? Uh-h-h...for the first 7 on the list, that's true. The highest number of animals came at #21-#23, six cats. Killed two goldfish accidentally in one move. For a while, there was a dog--German shepherd, later a Norwegian elkhound. The final go-round, #50, was done with three cats and a leopard gecko.
Well, I don't blame you for not wanting to move again. Wow. Fascinating story my friend.
The fact that you can recall all of these moves is amazing!! Stay put...
Have suitcase, will travel has a ring to it. At least you can say you're "well traveled."
The Frog
This was a fun read. Some of these sound like places I've lived.
What an interesting path you've taken throughout your journey Ghost. Great, funny read!
Genna: Maybe the continual moving simply couldn't be stopped--fate or something--until I built my own house from the ground up. Whatever the back story, I've literally got us "dug in" here in Arizona.
Pop: Stay put we will, good Lord willing and the crick don't rise. (Not that we have a crick [creek]...unless you count the big dry wash between here and the highway.
Frog: Rolling stone, no less.
Ivorwen: LOL! Most likely the places with the cockroaches and/or the stinky dead underground cats in the alley?
Sharyn's Slant: It's been interesting, all right, though sometimes in the sense of the ancient Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times."
I agree with POP- I'm impressed you can remember all of these moves.. AND wives!
Heh!
I can even remember at least some of the LESSONS each and every one of those wives TAUGHT me! :)
This was a very fun and funny read. But, I am somewhat ashamed that your misfortunes made me laugh. Oh, well...
And as for all of those wives...I love it!!! :)vocalcoach
Heh! You go right ahead and laugh to your heart's content. One interesting thing: Over the course of those 50 moves in 48 years, I don't remember once looking at the "situation of the moment" as "misfortune". You know, just "Deal with it, dude."
Well...maybe that's not QUITE true. I do remember uttering a "Dang!" (or pithier words to that effect) every ONCE in a while.... LOL!
Any way you cut it, though, your laughter warms my heart.
Terrified my Mom every time I moved, though, let alone changed jobs or (Horrors!) WIVES! She made it to age 89 but finally threw up her hands and left the planet at #44.
That was a great list! Super funny, even funnier because it's true!
Yeah, it's true as true can be. Hopefully, the gyroscope has finally wound down so that I don't need to let the spinning wheel spin again!
Is it terrible that I am enjoying my husband being to sick to want to move AGAIN. We have moved just about as many times as you have. We have been renting this 3 bedroom apartment for 2 years now. Longest we have stayed anywhere since walking down the aisle. It is clean, bug-free, maintained, and too expensive. Do you know how many landlords we have had that won't fix the heater or air-conditioner, when we told them that he is heat sensitive and can't handle the heat. That is the only reason we took some of those places, the air.
I don't know if your husband would appreciate the benefits of his being sick, but I definitely get it. Pam had a huge laundry list of behavioral problems when we first got together--and ONLY her onrushing ailments were powerful enough to knock her down far enough for her to "snap out of it" and begin making serious changes.
The changes she DID manage since that time are incredible--my background (formal education, for what that's worth) is in psychology, I've worked as a social worker and in group homes, and I've yet to see anyone else even come CLOSE to the self-improvements she's made in the 13 years she's been ill. A few examples:
Quit alcohol...softened her cut-through-steel voice so that my ears quit hurting...threw out (seriously) a number of multiple problem personalities...reduced her grand mal seizures from "right often" to "danged near never"...overcame a lifetime rage problem...and now, about done with smoking.
That's not the full list, but you get the idea.
Pam doesn't handle the heat well, either. We've not had AC since leaving Colorado in early 2009, and it hit 89 degrees in her room today (96 outside). Fans only, until finances improve enough that I can rig AC for her room (the rest of the house, the cats, the leopard gecko, and I can deal without it).
Hey Ghost, Google Freecycle in your area and see if their is a group. It is people who give away stuff they don't need or want. You can request something (like window air) or just watch for someone to post what they don't want.
Wow! Thanks, Becky. Had no idea they even existed--and yes, there is a group in our area (Bisbee-Sierra Vista).
Good tip!
Good group, I got a picture but I have seen people giving away refrigerators, stoves, furniture, air conditioners, construction supplies, and on.
No doubt. Been there, done that myself, over the years. I recall the move out of Custer, South Dakota. My ex and I had accumulated so much "stuff"--in part from my having had a five-employee working office for several years--that we HAD TO leave something out.
Which, among other things, turned out to include half a dozen desks and work tables, bookcases, etc....
Been there, done that. We owned an antiques shop in OH. When the landlord sold the building we had one month to move and couldn't find another building. We had a super sale for 3 weeks and the last week, had an auction. Got it done though. The building was 18,000 sq. ft. and was jammed.
Wow. THAT'S impressive!
That was a lot of work. AND I still made money. My books were on the plus side before a week was up. Everything from then on was profit.
Now I'm EXTRA impressed, Becky. I've scrambled and "sold stuff" many a time in tight spots over the years, but profit? Not so much!
You have to know your antiques and the customer. I usually do not dicker much to buy stuff. People are happy with me either buying or selling. If it is more than I figure I can get out of it, I just don't get it.
Example: I saw a drop-leaf breakfast table at a flea market and asked how much. The guy said 100, I was looking at it to see if It was in that good of shape and he knocked it down to 75. It was OAK. I looked for a second more and he says 50. I just quit looking and handed him the money. I couldn't lose at that price. I took it to my shop, cleaned it with Old English lemon oil and scratch cover. Sold it 12 days later for 250 and the lady was convinced she got a great bargain. She did but the price I sold it for was a big profit. That is how I made money for about 6 years. Still do it now and then.
I'm convinced that while it clear takes skill, there's also some sort of "invisible karma" factor going on when it comes to buying and selling. Which is a lot easier concept for me to accept than simply facing the fact I've never learned the craft well enough.
I have never had a problem with selling. I guess some of us can and some can't. My husband doesn't do as well as I do. I think it has something to do with knowing what I am talking about and loving the topic. I tell people about the stuff and when it was made and give them some more facts. They just buy it when I am done. I do not try to talk them into it.
It's not that I can't sell...depending on the product. In 1987, I started a multi-level marketing business, pushing a single (but very beneficial) nutritional supplement. That grew, before the company management totally messed up, to a significant retail trade and a "group" of more than 53,000 downline distributors at one point. Grossed roughly $2 million in the 20 years I had it.
And like it says in this Hub, I sold more than one home-seller on a purchase arrangement (for me) that he never could have come up with by himself.
So, in my case...it just depends.
Wealthmadehealthy Level 2 Commenter 14 months ago
Well, you shouldn't move again just keep that Border Fort safe!! This was a great read and anyone who is looking for a place to live should figure out how easy it actually can be. I guess you had no animals at the time, for this would make it a little more difficult. Enjoyed the read!!