Health Care Reform A Boost For Sarah Palin

A date which will live in infamy. No, not December 7, 1941, though certainly the attack on Pearl Harbor qualifies. This time, it's March 21, 2010, qualified by the attack on the Constitution of the United States when the House passed the Senate version of the health care reform bill. Truly, this evil act was presaged by more dirty tricks and weaselly sneaking around behind the backs of the American people than could have been imagined by the Japanese nearly 70 years ago.

Health care? Hell Care would be a more accurate term. Oh, did I mention sneaky? How about the provision that is most repugnant to me personally, i.e. the mandate forcing me to buy healthcare insurance or pay a fine or, barring that, face jail time? A CNN article I read online just hours before writing this hub states that the "Buy or Beware" threat won't be enforced until 2014. Now...why do you suppose those sneaky pro-Hell Care demons wrote it that way? Wouldn't they prefer to see those of us who don't need or want health care insurance beat promptly over the bean with that big stick? Redistribute your wealth now, sucka!

Sure they would.

But they've got to consider the upcoming midterm elections and, beyond that, the attempt to reelect Bummer Obama in 2012. They're counting on 51 percent of the electorate not noticing that this coming November and, of course, two Novembers later.

Once again, they've miscalculated badly.

Enter Sarah Palin. This coming Friday, I'll be taking a mini-holiday from home building and heading to Tucson. That's where both former Governor Palin and Senator McCain will be hosting a picnic as part of her promise to support his campaign for reelection to the Senate in November. I'm betting both politicians will encourage attendees to continue the fight, first and foremost--in Arizona--by seeing to it that Representatives who voted for Hell Care are given the opportunity to enjoy their retirement benefits this fall.

In our district, that means Gabrielle Giffords. After the vote tonight, her super duper perky face, glowing fit to put Katie Couric at her worst to shame, was so happy about all those wonderful benefits American citizens will now be able to enjoy....

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Sorry. Had to go barf and didn't want you to have to witness the gory spectacle.

Back to the discussion of "sneaky". Hell Care starts out by providing some obviously cool benefits, such as helping out seniors with their prescription drug costs and keeping kids on their parents' policies until age 26. Good planning. Get the "nicey-nice" stuff going right away. Warm up the water slow-w-w-wly; the frog will never notice he's being boiled until it's too late. M-m-m-m, isn't that warm water nice? Why, that's almost as warm-fuzzy-feeling as spotting those first yellow blossoms on a cholla cactus this very day. Spring is on the way!

Sarah Palin might not know this, being from Alaska--where cactus are in notably short supply--but cholla and Hell Care do have something else in common. Namely, both are capable of "getting you stung" if you don't watch out. The naive citizen might innocently believe the newly passed law is "all good", but ignoring its more reprehensible provisions guarantees inflation and lost jobs that will bite them as hard as anyone else. The cholla cactus, for its part, has a secret hidden in its other name: The jumping cactus. Lots of people believe this thorn-slinger will actually jump out and nail you if you so much as get close, hence the "jumping" label. More scientific types swear up and down that it doesn't really jump, but that its sections detach really easily, hitching a ride to a new location while its barbs are stuck in your naive hide.

Unfortunately for the Dumbocrats, however, We the People as a whole are neither naive frogs nor careless enough to go around grazing jumping cactus with our bare skin or street-baggy jeans. Instead, a bunch of us will gather to hear Sarah Palin and John McCain speak this Friday...and to advance our own war plans as well. How many side conversations do you suppose a group of fired-up folks can strike up at a political picnic near Tucson? What percentage of those conversations do you suppose might result in small grassroots organizations forming with the express goal of defeating incumbent Gabrielle Giffords and her ilk in the November polls?

Party down while you can, all you Hell Care hooligans. We grassroots types may not be as dramatic in appearance as either a frog in a pot or a cholla in bloom, but there are a lot of us...and our roots run deep. Deep enough to work through all that initial depression at the passing of Hell Care, find that deeper determination within each of us, and turn this debacle into--you got it--a boost for Sarah Palin 2012.