Barack Obama's Secret Identity Revealed : Hagar the Horrible

Newsflash! Ghost32 obtains exclusive interview with Kvack the duck! Kvack unmasks President Barack Obama's secret identity, reveals him to be none other than Hagar the Horrible, cartoon Viking raider and all around old school fat man!

PC Word police attempt to shut down this newsflash; declare "horrible" and "fat" to be politically incorrect.

Yeah? So...what's your point?

The following is the full, unabridged, unexpurgated transcript of the Ghost/Kvack interview:

Ghost: My first question...why did you agree to this interview?

Kvack: Simple--you were the first writer to make the connection between Obama and Hagar.

Ghost: Um...you're referring to the cups and teabags thing?

Kvack: Ex-[kvack!]-zackly. That sold me.

Ghost: Okay. I can understand that. Now, you're claiming that the President of the United States is not only influenced by Hagar the Horrible--as I claimed in my recent article--but that the two men are actually one and the same person. Interesting. Interesting indeed. But for a claim like that to be believed by the general public, you need evidence. Where is your proof?

Kvack: Proof? You can't handle the proof! Nonetheless, here it [kvack!] is. Take a look at today's Hagar [kvack!] cartoon, wouldja? Wouldja, huh?

Kvack then handed me a copy of the comic strip. One look at the punch line was enough for me to see her point. My bloodshot blue eyes met her beady little black orbs as I asked,

Ghost: It's the Bill O'Reilly interview all over again, isn't it?

Kvack: [kvack!] You got it, cowboy.

Ghost: When Bill asked Obama--repeatedly--how he (Obama) felt about all those people "out there" who hated him, the President deflected. I remember noticing that. He just said something about, "Those who think they don't like me don't know me." "No," O'Reilly disagreed, "They hate you!" Whereupon Obama added stuff about any President having to have a pretty thick skin before even getting to the White House--this from the thinnest skinned Confuser in Chief in, like, forever. The man was in total denial!

Kvack: Kvackzackly!

Ghost: He couldn't even consider the idea people might detest him because they knew too much about him.

Kvack: Kvackzackly! Now, point this out to your readers, wouldja? How, just like Hagar, your American President isn't about to face the fact that his heels are hanging out over the edge of a cliff while a kvackzillion determined citizens bear down upon him. Tell 'em!

Ghost: Oh, I'll tell 'em. So...is that it for today? Any further insights? Are Michelle Obama and Hagar's wife, Helga, also one and the same?

Kvack: I've said too kvacking much already.

The interview ended there. Special note: It was actually fellow hubber Breakfastpop who made the real breakthrough regarding Barack Obama's secret identity with the following observation:

"Is it possible Obama and Hagar are the same person? I've never seen them together, have you?"

In the end, I simply lucked out when Kvack decided it was me she should contact...because, even though she's not seen Breakfastpop post any recipes for Peking duck breakfast so far, the birdbrain is simply wary of all cooks who admit to murdering eggs in their culinary endeavors.

As the old saying goes, Lord love a duck!