American Hunters : Homeland Security at its Most Secure

Not unlike Switzerland, our American mainland remains secure from invasion by foreign armies...though in our case, it's because of hunters. Whether or not one believes we should be fighting foreign wars, whether or not one would starve rather than chow down on Bambi or Bullwinkle, that fact is literally indisputable.

Here's why.

I just received an email pointing out a few statistics. No, not stats on the number of venison steaks in the average freezer--just the sheer number of hunting permits issued in various states. Since nobody ponies up for a permit without having at least a lever action .30-30 in the gun cabinet, it's safe to accept the premise that there are more rifles "out there" in the Heartland than the number of permits...since some folks surely do own firearms purely for self defense.

Well, duh.

The email's first paragraph:

In WWII, Japan's highest ranking naval officer was Isoruku Yamamoto. Although he was Japanese, and his loyalties were unquestionably with The Empire, he studied for many years in America, graduating from Harvard University. There is an oft-repeated (and sometimes disputed) quote attributed to him regarding the possibility of any nation taking a war to American soil:

"You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass."

While Yamamoto may or may not have actually said that, it does get the point across rather well. Civilians in the USA pack a lot of accumulative firepower...and we remain free because of that simple fact. Many of us (myself included) are wary always of the Enemy Within and would not put it past the "wrong bunch" to get themselves elected and promptly attempt to confiscate every projectile weapon in the land--and then go after the edged stuff, thank you very much.

But we tend to overlook the overwhelming deterrent we heat-packing "common folk" present to the aggressor nations around the planet. After all, nukes or no nukes, you've got to be able to put boots on the ground if you're going to occupy any country...and there are times when our awesome armed forces (and they are indeed awesome) are pretty much occupied elsewhere.

Potential enemies, however, can read Fish & Wildlife stats as well as we can. For example:

Here is why he (Yamamoto) was correct:

America's Hunters. The World's Largest Army.
The state of Wisconsin has gone an entire deer hunting season without someone getting killed. That's great, considering there were over 600,000 hunters that got permits this year.

Allow me to restate that number.

Over the last two months, the eighth largest army in the world - more men under arms than Iran; more than France and Germany combined - deployed to the woods of a single American state to keep the deer population under control.

Those figures got my attention...especially since I'd never really thought that much about Wisconsin being a great place to hunt. Growing up in the wide open spaces of western Montana as I did, still hunting in the thick woods of Wisconsin with a slug-loaded shotgun just never appealed to me.

Even so...one of those big ol' slugs would surely stop a foregin invader right well, wouldn't it?

Okay, then. Are the weapons just, perhaps, thicker in Wisconsin than elsewhere? A fluke, maybe?

But that pales in comparison to the 750,000 who are in the woods of Pennsylvania this week. Michigan's 700,000 hunters have now returned home. Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia, and it is literally the case that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the largest army in the world.

And that is just FOUR states.
The total population of registered hunters in America today ranges from 23 million to 43.7 million individuals. (Based on annual data provided by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.)
As long as the American Hunter retains his right to Bear Arms, America will forever be safe from foreign invasion of troops.

Hunting - it's not just a way to fill the freezer. It's a matter of national security.

Got it. Homeland Security the old school way, American hunters! In other words, scratch a gun control advocate, uncover a traitor, a collaborator, a quisling, a liberal, a Progressive. Scratch a hunter, you find an armed Defender of the Homeland.

Maybe you also get punched out, depending on who you are and where you scratch him (or her!).

Since fact checking is generally a good thing to do, especially when writing articles based on anonymous emails (!), I went to the U.S. Fish & Wildlife landing page for hunting to see how close state hunting numbers actually were to those claimed.

Not very, as it turned out--yet still enough for America's hunters to be fairly dubbed the largest army in the world:

The most recent survey report (2006) indicated in that year:

• 12.5 million people 16 years old and older enjoyed hunting a variety of animals within the United States. They hunted 220 million days and took 185 million trips. Hunting expenditures totaled $22.9 billion.

Okay, not nearly 43 million hunters, but "only" 12.5 million as of 5 years ago. Yet...what do the state stats show? It was time to head on over to this page to find out:

Wisconsin...697,000 hunters. More than the email claimed!

Pennsylvania.....1,044,000 hunters. More than the email claimed!

Maybe somebody at Fish & Wildlife couldn't figure out how to add up all those big state numbers to get the right national total?

No matter. Anyway you cut the steak, we have enough hunters in these 50 states (50, not 57--the Heinz 57 goes on the steaks when we chow down) to give aggressor nations pause...and to give PETA absolute fits. Either of which, as Martha Stewart would say, is a good thing.

Let's keep it that way.